Child of the Air (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
child_of_the_air) wrote2019-02-21 01:33 pm
child_of_the_air) wrote2019-02-21 01:33 pm
Ceremony Recognizing Chosen Sisters
This last weekend, my grad school friend and lab comrade visited me from Boston. The two of us have been calling each other chosen sisters for quite a while and, while she was in town, we decided we wanted to formalize it. We wrote a short ritual--with religious bits pared down enough to not upset my pagan or her Christian preferences--to recognize us as chosen sisters and performed it at a friend's house with some of my local close friends in attendance.
It was really a wonderful experience, and I'm glad it's something I got to do. As an only child who isn't that emotionally close to their parents, chosen family is really important to me, and it's always a worry for me that my feelings about it, and about specific people, are asymmetrical, so it was nice to formally recognize how we both feel.
The text of the ritual, and more photos, follow behind a cut in case you're interested. As always with rituals I post publicly, feel free to adapt bits of it that you find useful for your own use.
It was really a wonderful experience, and I'm glad it's something I got to do. As an only child who isn't that emotionally close to their parents, chosen family is really important to me, and it's always a worry for me that my feelings about it, and about specific people, are asymmetrical, so it was nice to formally recognize how we both feel.
The text of the ritual, and more photos, follow behind a cut in case you're interested. As always with rituals I post publicly, feel free to adapt bits of it that you find useful for your own use.
Introduction
Together, BOTH light the illumination candles.
They recite, alternating who reads which line:
BOTH:
In a better world, I suppose,
[1]:
we would have made better choices,
[2]:
we would not have ended up in Sylvia's lab,
[BOTH]:
...but we would not have met.
BOTH:
We should mourn that world, I suppose,
[1]:
but I cannot bring myself to do so,
[2]:
but I could not be myself if I did so,
BOTH:
...we would not have been there for each other.
BOTH:
In this fallen world, the gods are cruel and life is pain,
[1]:
and I would not gamble what I have,
[2]:
and I would not trust in a better fate,
BOTH:
...and lose the honor of being your comrade.
Sharing of the Hearth
[Person 1] lights a small candle before them.
[Person 2] recites:
I know you as yourself,
and by the family you have made,
I acknowledge them as kin of kin,
to whom love and honor bind you.
[Person 2] lights a small candle before them.
[Person 1] recites:
I know you as yourself,
and by the family you have made,
I acknowledge them as kin of kin,
to whom love and honor bind you.
Simultaneously, BOTH transfer flame from their candles to light a larger common candle set between them. They hold the larger candle together.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, with this flame we hold,
to welcome you beside my hearth,
to count you as among my kin,
…not in secret words, but before the listening world.
Sharing of Food
[Person 2] tears a piece from a loaf of bread and hands it to [Person 1].
[Person 1] tears a piece from a loaf of bread and hands it to [Person 2].
Simultaneously, BOTH eat the bread.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, through this bread we share,
to offer you my care and help,
to share with you our common plenty,
…not by blood commanded, but by choice we’ve freely made.
Sharing of Duty
Simultaneously, BOTH touch the ground with their hands, then turn to each other and join hands.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, on this earth we tread,
to stand beside you in this world,
to fight beside you as best I can,
…not in fate-doomed hope, but by love and honor bound.
Closing of the Ritual
BOTH recite:
And so as sisters here, we stand before you,
and ask you all, as broader family,
to join us for this meal around our hearth.
BOTH pass around the loaf of bread and a plate of fruit. Everyone eats.
ALL recite:
Though we cannot stay gathered round this fire,
may our hearts remain joined as around one hearth.
Together, BOTH extinguish the candles and the ritual ends.
Together, BOTH light the illumination candles.
They recite, alternating who reads which line:
BOTH:
In a better world, I suppose,
[1]:
we would have made better choices,
[2]:
we would not have ended up in Sylvia's lab,
[BOTH]:
...but we would not have met.
BOTH:
We should mourn that world, I suppose,
[1]:
but I cannot bring myself to do so,
[2]:
but I could not be myself if I did so,
BOTH:
...we would not have been there for each other.
BOTH:
In this fallen world, the gods are cruel and life is pain,
[1]:
and I would not gamble what I have,
[2]:
and I would not trust in a better fate,
BOTH:
...and lose the honor of being your comrade.
Sharing of the Hearth
[Person 1] lights a small candle before them.
[Person 2] recites:
I know you as yourself,
and by the family you have made,
I acknowledge them as kin of kin,
to whom love and honor bind you.
[Person 2] lights a small candle before them.
[Person 1] recites:
I know you as yourself,
and by the family you have made,
I acknowledge them as kin of kin,
to whom love and honor bind you.
Simultaneously, BOTH transfer flame from their candles to light a larger common candle set between them. They hold the larger candle together.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, with this flame we hold,
to welcome you beside my hearth,
to count you as among my kin,
…not in secret words, but before the listening world.
Sharing of Food
[Person 2] tears a piece from a loaf of bread and hands it to [Person 1].
[Person 1] tears a piece from a loaf of bread and hands it to [Person 2].
Simultaneously, BOTH eat the bread.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, through this bread we share,
to offer you my care and help,
to share with you our common plenty,
…not by blood commanded, but by choice we’ve freely made.
Sharing of Duty
Simultaneously, BOTH touch the ground with their hands, then turn to each other and join hands.
BOTH recite:
And so I promise, on this earth we tread,
to stand beside you in this world,
to fight beside you as best I can,
…not in fate-doomed hope, but by love and honor bound.
Closing of the Ritual
BOTH recite:
And so as sisters here, we stand before you,
and ask you all, as broader family,
to join us for this meal around our hearth.
BOTH pass around the loaf of bread and a plate of fruit. Everyone eats.
ALL recite:
Though we cannot stay gathered round this fire,
may our hearts remain joined as around one hearth.
Together, BOTH extinguish the candles and the ritual ends.
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